Friday, October 05, 2012

The Avalanche

Recently, things hasn't been turning out the way I'd like them to be. Obviously, we don't expect everything to fall out perfectly in front of us, we can't expect all the seeds we sow to sprout, essentially, there's nothing like a perfect balanced happy world, right? 

Before I lose my sanity, I keep a blog of key moments in my life, which is now; as I write this. Lately, I'm convinced I've lost all my optimism. The energy I used to carry, the hope, the creativity, the laughter, they all have been taken away from me, either that or I've lost all of them completely. One after one, rocks rained down as if I've met with an avalanche. I tried to gather myself and stand amidst the cloud of rocks. A larger rock hit me. Then another one. And again. And again. And again. Whenever I thought the avalanche stopped, 9 out of 10 times I'd be wrong. I've tried, I'm not the sort who gives up easily. But hey, I'm beginning to lose that glimmer of hope, to lose my sight on that light at the end of the tunnel. 

Unbelievable. The harder I try to convince myself, the faster I feel I'm reaching the end of that depression curve.