|sigh.. is this some kind of punishment by time? and I really mean the time which you get from the clock or a watch. I am running out of time... I need time to give me somemore time, time's really rushing me off my tracks and I'm on the verge of falling.. maybe not now, but soon. It might happen, it might not. I need to keep reminding myself that I cannot fall, once I fall, there's no chance of recovery.. no. not even a single sign of hope will linger around.... sigh..
what is this? I'm realli stressed out, drained out of my energy, but I believe everyone have their own problems and worries, everyone's stressed out too. I believe. Let me not talk about everybody, cos it's all together different situations for everyone..
I have a few tests coming up next week and I am not even prepared for the test... the foundation of my all subjects aren't even there, I don feel the confidence growing in me. It'll be only worsened by other things that distract me and add pressure to my daily workload.
I've been preparing a cycling course for my st john juniors in kranji - calling up the course instructor..confirming with kranji teachers and the instructor abt certain controversy, writing a proposal.. but I cannot find the right time for me to finish up this task! I reach home everyday at average 6 and it's like too late to call up teachers or the instructor already! But what can I do? I can only wait for weekend to come.. when I am free in the morning and the afternoon..day by day passed and the officer is pushing me very hard for the proposal to be handed in.. sigh
well, weekend? I've to really do my homework and revise on saturday. It's the only available day for me. Realli. You may ask, what about sunday. I've a full day officer course at SJ hq, every sunday, from 7am to 7pm.. for 7 consecutive sundays.. by the time I reach home, I can only eat, bathe, and maybe online for a while before going to sleep... It's really tiring to go for a full day and I cannot get myself down to the table to do any more tutorials. I'm stressed. realli.
Next sunday I am supposed to present my group's project on Head Injuries during the course.. we were given 3 weeks to do, yet I cannot find the time to meet up with my course mates. They live all over singapore, finding a suitable meeting place's also hard.. hai.. Somemore next week's also my officer course's theory paper and practical exam, and I don even know what's coming out in the exams. In addition to all these, I still have a group project; a proposal on First Aid Competition. This proposal's to test our organising abilities and teamwork.. all those stuff la.. I haven done any. I haven contributed anything to my group, I really... cannot, find the time, unless I sacrifice my saturdays and go meet up with them and spend the whole day doing it. If I do this, where's the time for my homework? revision? rest? where!? I hate this.. time's really punishing me.
moreover, I am not always free on saturday to have time to do my homework... I am going back to sch for soccer trial tml morning.. hope I can really come home tml and study. I need to study, really, I need to be on track... I am running out of time everyday..
Since monday to friday is schooling day, I have only saturdays to allow time for my SPCA committments - it's a 1 hour trip down to SPCA and a 1 hour trip back. Time! oh my.. but it also depends on whether there're events coming up and SPCA needs volunteers to go down. If it's on a saturday, I'd try to go down...come on, you might think it's a waste of time for such stuff, but i think otherwise. Animals out there need help! Approximately 1000 animals are sent in to SPCA per month and 90% of them have to be euthanized! Imagine guys! 90%, it's not a small amount, but why do so much of them have to be put to sleep? The only concern is because of space constraint in singapore, we cannot afford too many animals to be bred and then in the end they're either chased out of the house or abandoned. This is cruelty. However, is euthanasia a form of cruelty too? I beg to differ. It's just a way that animals are put to sleep and they won't wake up anymore. It's a painless and fast way of ending their life. It's far better than letting them run on the roads and get abused by idiots, or get run over by cars or even suffer in pain with a infection or a fracture somewhere! I have to help the SPCA, it's...a must for me. Perhaps, 2nd in priority to homework?
Sch work on monday to friday.. tests, sundays booked, saturday busy, plus the fact that I haven been having enough sleep these few days! Perhaps this is the reason why I am feeling rather stressed and frustrated now.. I have been sleeping 4 hours or even less for consecutive 3 days.. and I am really tired. (I watched soccer at 2.30am mah, so tired the next day, haha... don blame me, soccer fans will understand me =p)
Let's just hope that things will turn out to be better each day.. =)