Where's the smile.

fMonth of March passes by so quickly that tomorrow will be the last day for the month. Then some people will start playing the April fool joke. mm. These days, weeks and months have been tough. I find it tough. and I realised I can't seem to find anything to celebrate over or to be happy about. Plus the many rainy afternoons, which often made the day seemed so dark & gloomy and overwhelmed by the sound from the falling rain drops. But I guessed that is indeed a beautiful picture painted. Don't know what to confess here. Too many things that I will not write it down, but life feels like a struggle to me.

To top it up, Jieting and May counted that I've 16 strands of white hair (minus one that jieting plucked it off equals 15). That is doubly depressing after I realised I lost 3kg over the past month.

Every month seems a challenge to me. There's bound to have something on that bugs me 24/7. I have to get over the month of April, this concerns my future. "I hate to worry, and I know worrying will not help at all. But I can't help but worry!" Quite a few friends around me are going through difficult times, though on different circumstances but here's my sincere best wishes for everyone. cheers. '-'

Relationship; love

Relationship is both something complex and scary. You'd never realise that your relationship is turning sour until when you begin to sense it; which is often very very late into the game. The people, the environment, the culture around one is overwhelmingly distracting. There're too much distractions around, so much so that they always try to pull the attention arc away. And the latter wins the battle almost certainly. Until when one wakes up and realise the relationship is going the way it shouldn't be heading to, all he did was to put the relationship aside and avoid it, for he didn't know what to do. That is human. Cruelty happens all the time.

Prevention is better than cure. What a cliche. But then again, as true as how cliche it is. No relationship will work if either one doesn't commit. It's something that requires both to keep on working on it, and keep it going. It takes two hands to clap. It takes two teams of engineers to build a bridge from both banks of the river; the bridge will collapse even though one team continues to build. In a relationship, you and I, will become husband and wife one day. We seek for the perfect partner who will be with you through your life. It is important that both share/have a common goal in life, so that both can constantly push each other on later part in life. For me, yes, I've a dream. I yearn to build my own farm with my own cattle and a sheepdog, together with my future one, whoever it may be. But of course things doesn't always end up as what you'd thought to be perfect. In life, when we involve the human mind, the constantly-changing emotions, the psychology, no one knows what lies ahead. People change from time to time, the environment will shape their mindsets, the culture will affect the psychology and change the way one used to perceive certain things in life.

The occassional hiccups in a relationship is a classic example of the ever-changing emotions in us. Couples fret over certain things that they disagree with each other. He might feel uncomfortable over her sudden change in attitude towards him. She might feel neglected that he's not putting in enough commitment into the relationship. Both ideas clashed. He will feel that she's changed. She will also feel that he's changed. But what if they could put themselves into each others' shoes and take a look at the situation from another angle? Would things have changed for the better? For example, you get frustrated at your parents for nagging at you and restricting you to a twelve midnight curfew during your teen girls year. If you put yourself into the shoes of your mom and dad, would you allow your young girl to stay out late till the wee hours of the morning? Would you keep drilling advices into her, hoping she'd turn out good in future? It's amazing that how looking things at the opposite angle affects the turn-out of a relationship.

Relationship is indeed something so elaborated that it's difficult to find an exact definition to it. I don't seek an answer to relationship, but I'll scout for my definition to the second word of the title to this post.

The Leap Year..(or week)

As the leap year falls in 2008, I lept through this week as well. On a fine friday where every single one booked out at around 5pm, me and qy lept through the book-out time and walked out of gate at 8.15pm. We spent the whole freaking afternoon doing something which we were supposed to do but hated to do it. End of the day, we got ourselves full of soil and diluted mud splattered out from the wheels after 'shooting' it with strong jets of water. Gotten our hands and face stained with the mechanical grease and oil after trying to clean the inner compartments and engines. We didn't clean one of those freak which moved on tracks, we cleaned five --- FIVE. In the end we didn't really finished cleaning even with the help of another 20+ men, the sun was setting and we had to stop before the sky turns dark.

If I had nightmares over them, it would be disastrous.

Reached home and wanted to prepare for the PD the next morning, but god knows how I fell asleep while sms-ing and reading the straits time. Woke up at 5.30 the next morning and rushed to wash up and eat something while packing my bag and changing into my PT kit, at the same time I thought of the many possible casualties we'd expect today and the treatment. Met ong at 6.20 at interchange. Good weather, cooling and wet. Road run ended halfway due to CAT 1, lightning risk. That was dumb..but then it was good to have zero casualty rate. But then again, this PD didn't give the first aiders any learning experience..sometimes they really have to learn it the tough way.

Went back school settle things down and then came back home to do up my logistic stuff for next 4Q '07 and 1Q '08 meeting next sat. Hate to use micro. excel but had to, and I spent 90 minutes doing up one simple form.. wth.

Left home at 6 for suntec. Wanna check out the career and exhibition booth, cause I came to know of Murdoch Uni coming down from the straits time. Went in and again I saw Mr Ferdinand, nice to meet him again. It was great, I first met him in 2005 in PJ. I asked about my application again. It was exhilirating to know that I've received an acceptance letter from Uni of Queensland (again for the 2nd time since last year), and MURDOCH uni ! omg omg. I left the exhibition straight away after a while.

will update again soon. nite