Thursday, December 28, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Yes, it was their fault that the internet didn't work for 2 months, and so now there's no compensation from them. You got pissed off so that's the reason you wanted to cancel my internet over here in cck? Is that all? Is your EGO really so important to you? I cannot believe this. You've lost your daughter, now my grip on you is slowly being lubricated - by what you all have been doing - and slipping off. Not surely, but certainly.
Cancel the internet in January? Do it then. I'll survive this, I'm sure.
good gracious me. you tell me to go back pasir ris and use the internet if I needed to do so? OH MY. It's so inconvenient do you understand. Sorry, you don't. I need to handle much of my st john trainings for these 3 months and I definitely need the internet to receive updates, submit proposals, review training matters. wow, so I have to spend approx. 90 minutes to travel by train to pasir ris and walk another half an hour in, just to do a few clicks so that I could send an email? IS THAT IT?
This is totally ridiculous I feel. You really don't understand my life here. It's very convenient for you in pasir ris of cos, when both of you have a car each. Can't you spare more thoughts for me, I know you wanted me to stay in pasir ris. I have been trying my best to go back whenever I can afford the time, but too bad, you 2 always fail to notice what I've done. You 2 only saw what I've NOT done.
It goes the same for my school work, you (mom) never once take a look at my result slip, or rather perhaps once of twice. Maybe you'd have shrug it off 2 seconds after glancing through it. you (dad) always tell me to buck up on this subject and that area, but you never once recognize my effort in which I've been improving steadily. Therefore, I only know what I've not done well in, but I never once knew what I've excel in.
Often, I discover the areas of excellence myself. It's is really tough. But I've to thank my grandma who's always supported me through out my 10 years in education. Flashing back to the pre-A levels period. Just after my prelims, I told myself not to study so hard anymore. I gave up studying, really, for full 6 days. All I did was running and playing games online. All the encouragement my grandma gave me throughout that 6 days didn't work, I was too demoralised, shakened, weak at that time. Until the 7th day when all but what she sat down and told me shook me right in the head.
From there I picked myself up again. She is really the pillar of my life. No one else. If I could, I'd definitely live with my grandma. It was one of my reason for not wanting to stay in pasir ris. My grandma's old and now I've grown up. Shouldn't I take care of her now, for what she's done for me for my life. She shaped my future, she inculcate invaluable values and morals into me.
If my parents could be a little more understanding, things would turn out better. You wouldn't want to see yourself alone, 25 years down the road. of cos you'd want someone to take care of you and have someone to talk to. THINK AND INTERNALIZE.
I am not gaining any sympathy from anyone, please. I am writing it down for myself.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Great trip, ck was a funny guy. Ginger was hot. It was great to go on a holiday! We stayed in 2 different hotels..Renaisance hotel and Marriot hotel. R hotel had fantastic toilets..Marriot doesn't. lOL. That's not the point anyway.
Drizzled once. Far from what I read in the papers and saw on television about the heavy rain storms in Malaysia. True enough, some villages were indeed half submerged in the muddy waters. Water level was up the thigh!
Water baffalos, monkeys, goats, chickens all went under a bus stop for some shelter! lOL. They were bus stops in Malacca, but the tour guide says if you had missed one bus, you can go back home first, and come back tomorrow for the next bus. Bus stops hardly used.
Marriot Hotel lobby!
Some photo taking by ginger boi.
Ginger and me!!
Chuen Kit and me! eh. what's my name again. lOl.
Chocolates for some late night snacking!! =D
The hotel provided 1 condom for 3 guys staying in a room...lOL. OF COS NOT. It was a cute lil chocolate in the box. :p
Lastly! shopping at Alamanda complex!
Go on a travel, friends!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
I really hated this situation now. wondering what have I done wrong in the first place. who said we can enjoy life after the A levels. for most of my fellow friends, they did.
Tormented daily, I hoped for the best with every new dawn.
Friday, December 15, 2006
I understand that as a son, it's all the right for me to live in my own home. I'd pretty much like to do that. BUT IT IS NOT EASY AT ALL FOR ME TO ADAPT TO THAT SICKENING PASIR RIS PLACE. I CAN'T GO JOGGING IN THE NIGHT, I CAN'T GO SWIMMING WITH MY FRIENDS WHENEVER I WANTED TO, GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS IS A PROBLEM (ALL LIVING IN THE WEST!!).
WHAT ABOUT MY ST JOHN TRAININGS, THEY HAVE A COMPETITION NEXT YEAR, I'M THE ONLY ONE AVAILABLE, THE REST NEED TIME FOR THEIR FINAL YEAR EXAM, I CANNOT BE SELFISH, DO YOU F**KING GET IT.
EVERYTIME I GO FOR FIRST AID DUTIES, YOU'D ASKED IF AM I PAID. I AM NOT !! I REPEATED MYSELF UMPTEEN TIMES ALREADY! I AM NOT IGNORANT, I CAN SENSE THE SIGNAL YOU ARE GIVING ME -- "why are you doing all these? waste of time? not paid.." COME ON, THE SENSE OF SATISFACTION I GET FROM ALL THESE VOLUNTEER WORK I DO CAN NEVER EVER BE BOUGHT WITH MONEY, AND THIS IS WHAT I LOVE DO TO. I GET JOY FROM THESE, CAN YOU GIVE ME SUCH SECURITY EMOTIONALLY? I'M SORRY, YOU 2 CAN'T. NEVER.
I MENTIONED ABOUT GOING TO ZOO TO DO 2 WEEKS OF VOLUNTEER WORK, YOU ASKED THE SAME THING, GIVE ME THE SAME SIGNAL AGAIN. WTF IS ALL THESE? WHY ARE YOU 2 PILING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME? CAN'T I EVEN RELAX MYSELF AFTER MY A LEVELS, IT'S BARELY 2 WEEKS AFTER MY LAST PAPER.
CAN'T U 2 SEE THAT I'M TRYING MY BEST TO GO BACK EVERY WEEK, AT LEAST FOR A FEW DAYS, BUT WHAT CAN I DO THERE. THE PLACE IS SO ISOLATED, AT LEAST A FREAKING KILOMETRE FROM PASIR RIS MRT. I DON FEEL HAPPY THERE, IT'S AS GOOD AS I'M IMPRISONED.
WOULD YOU RATHER ME TO STAY IN CCK WITH MY AH MA WHOM I'VE BEEN STAYING WITH FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS? OR YOU WOULD YOU RATHER ME TO GO INSANE OR CRAZY TO STAY IN THE MENTAL HOSPITAL. PLEASE, FOR GOODNESS SAKE, DON'T WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE CONSEQUENCES, YOU 2 WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT.
NOW WHAT, NOW YOU WANT TO TERMINATE MY INTERNET CONNECTION? WHAT IS THIS? SOME SORT OF A WAY TO FORCE ME TO GO BACK PASIR RIS? YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, I'VE TOO MUCH AFFLIATIONS IN CCK, TOO MANY TO NAME. I CAN'T JUST GO BACK AND MEANS REALLY GO BACK FOR GOOD. IT'S NOT REASONABLE!
I'M SORRY, I CANNOT ASSIMILATE HOW YOU 2 THINK, IF YOU REALLY TERMINATE MY INTERNET, I'M COOL WITH IT. AT LEAST I FEEL HAPPIER STAYING WITH MY AH MA.
LATELY, I REALISED THAT YOU'RE BECOMING MORE AND MORE STUBBORN. SERIOUSLY, I DON'T WANT TO VOICE OUT, IT MAKES ME APPEAR TO BE VERY RUDE.
ONE THING I REALLY CANNOT ACCEPT, WE ALL ARE BUDDHISTS, ISN'T DOING VOLUNTEER WORK WHAT HAVE BEEN PREACHED? I CAN SEE THAT BOTH OF YOU ARE DEVOTED BUDDHISTS, BUT WHY THE REPLY I GET WHENEVER I MENTIONED ABOUT ME DOING THEM?
I HAVE NO INTENTION TO BE PART OF THE FAMILY, IT DOESN'T GIVE ME AN IDENTITY, IT DOESN'T GIVE ME SECURITY, IT DOESN'T GIVE ME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. Lastly, I don't understand why am I only given $50 pocket money for sometimes 2 weeks, most of the time 3-4 weeks. I try to save for what I want to buy, but it seems it is seemingly impossible. Never mind about money, I'm cool with this - already used to it.