A new year; with same old colours

It's new year's eve! With 1st Janurary unfolding in 90 minutes' time, I welcome the better new year with some resolutions. haha. Before that I'd like to write down some reflections of 2007.

1)A level results
2)Part-time at NUH and Veterinary clinic
3)Enlistment
4)KSJ
5)Derrick's baby girl

1)A lvl results. It was end of Feb. The day we collect our results couldn't have been more frightening. We all knew it in our heads that it either make it or die. And that's the cruel fact of A levels. WIthout good results you're practically kind of screwed. I can't relieve the excitement on the day now, but I remembered hugging my teacher after getting my results slip. I've proven myself. I can see where I'm heading towards at that point in time. Good job. Done with college, what's next?

2)Work. Wanted to find a job in the zoo but failed on 2 attempts within 2 years. Tried the Animal Hospital at mount peasant road but the places were reserved for veterinary students on attachment. Tried many many many clinics but to no avail. In the end got a job offer from my aunt who works in NUS, a job in NUH. So I ended up signing the 4 months contract faster than I thought, got attached to a doctor and assisted her in gathering raw data for her research. I learnt alot as well, been travelling to many schools and taking blood pressure readings of children from 7-16 years old. These 2 months of my entire life was really shiok. I'm literally free of everything and just happy happy go to work and travel around schools in singapore, acting like big boss directing the kids around. Everything seemed so free and easy. Then sometimes go NUH for a while, meet the doctor then we FO to schools. sounds fun right. haha. Next I was in a vet clinic, at paya lebar. Have to reach at 9am in the morning to clean up the cages and feed every single animal inside. Of course I did it with huishan, she's the old bird there. Been into the surgery room and watched numerous surgeries, and poof. nothing beats seeing everything with your own eyes! awesome.

3)Enlistment. Getting enlisted really changed my whole life. Nothing much to mention but one takeaway would be I really learnt to cherish my loved ones more, more than ever before.

4)KSJ. Been kind of MIA from April till bout July, then returned during my sispec days. Officially back into KSJ action during my arti trainee days. Very busy year again, but with the ultimate reward in FAC. Had much fun during ATC as well. Had a spring cleaning at the end of year and changed the layout of the room totally.

5)Derrick's baby girl. On 30th dec 2007 morning, Raeanne was brought into this world, with much excitement and anxiety from the first-time father. Congratulations and all the very best for the future. =)

Bye 2007. The year has fallen into the book of history.

Chatted with ken a lil and he told me the IN colour for next year will still be green, brown and black. Stunned for a moment, turned around and saw my uniform. Just as he typed it out in msn; very true. argh, never mind bout that.

Talking about resolutions. hmm. Resolutions. For peeps who're still studying, I won't find it surprising if they wants to excel in the exams. For working ones, perhaps a promotion, or to find a better job? For parents would be to see their own children grow up, healthy and happy. For my friends in camp, I guessed it's hoping for the o-r-d date to arrive soon. =x For my brother, he hopes to get more barney toys and watch more bananas in pyjamas on disney channel. For me, I hope I can get my university preparations settled so that I can get this load off my chest. It's been bugging me for quite some time.

It's tough. For buddies who are still "not-attached-yet", I sincerely hope you can fulfil your resolution. fate is in your own hands. you can when you believe. Personally, to be truthful, whenever I think about committing myself to a relationship, I shrunk; I withdraw. I can't be certain, not that I'm gay, but I'm really afraid of hurting the one I love. I don't want a repeat. Yes, I'll walk that path, the path which leads me to my career. But it's a long long way, I'm not even at the starting point. I don't want to commit myself to a relationship before leaving for the starting point. My starting point will be when I stand firm at the gate of Murdoch. It's a challenge to control your emotions, sometimes they will really play with you. They tell you, you're in love. But then you tell yourself you can't let your emotions get in control; you're not suppose to be in love; you can't express your love at all. You must let your eyes close and let any opportunties go; shouldn't even try to grab hold. You keep it all shut in that tiny fist-sized heart, never to let a single bit leak out. You carry on with life, the only consolation is to tell yourself she will definitely appear, at least 5 or 6 years down the road. I don't ask for much, she must share similar passion - we educate the masses and conserve wildlife.

Next up, I'd still be in SJ...and I really want to do my very best for the juniors in year 2008. "I, S883.... CSO(6) Loh Choon Kiat pledge to serve KSJ..." lol. crap oath. I realised KSJ has found her own meaning, a sense of belonging to her. KSJ really evolved, from zero to heroes. Yes, we are champions, nothing less. or rather, you all are champions in my very own eyes. I learnt alot from trainings, having fun with the kids and watching them grow up - through their 4-5 years spent in secondary school. It takes effort and reflections to take away many important lessons. and all these lessons will only make my life richer and more meaningful. We forge many friendships through sweat and tears, sometimes even blood. This I'll find it hard to forget.

Thirdly, I WILL GET GOLD IN IPPT. VERY SOON, I CAN FEEL IT. LOL. 2.4km in 9.44min, HERE I RUN. :):):) (not forgetting additional $100 into my account. hahaha)

Forth, I wish for a safe and successful exercise in South Africa next year, with lotsa happy returns! haha.

Lastly, I wish for health and happiness for all ! nothing beats having a healthy mind and soul right? May we have a smooth-sailing, properous 2008!! 1 more minute!! wee.

Christmas

merry christmas to all! :D

A new lease of life

I'm back in blogging! haa. Sorry for being MIA for the past weeks or (months). Recently got to my new unit and realized life in there isn't what I thought to be. Found myself struggling to cope with the unfamiliar environment and getting myself overwhelmed by the immense pressure on my weakened soul.

Didn't had appetite for my first meal - lunch. Couldn't stomach what's on the plate. It just didn't seem right to me. Suddenly I could feel the world's gonna collapse on me after lunch. The future 's full of uncertainty. I couldn't see where I was heading towards; it was as if I am walking into this space of infinity. It's that scary. Tears could just roll.

On the first night I went down a storey to share with my buddy. We both couldn't get to bed. It's kind of tough to fight the lonely night with no one to talk to, just you and yourself, rooming in with many unfamiliar faces and only your new pillow to hug. Uneasy feeling all around, isn't it. No, this isn't homesickness. I know it. I repose under the blanket of stars, the moonlight pierced through my face. As I lie down and watched the moon through the window, how I wished if I've someone beside, someone for me to lend a listening ear, someone to stay for the night. (certainly not those mates in there! :x)

For all I know, it's nearing the hour. The hour to get out of bed and wash up, and prepare for the new day ahead.

'Heaves a heavy sigh' as my feet got out of the blanket and hit the floor.

mmm. alright. enough said. "you can't change the way how you feel, but you can change the way what you want to do about it"

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. - The line I'll hold on to.

e-x-p-l-a-i-n

Sometimes I can't explain how I feel. why things keep happening this way. I tried to change things, but it made me feel worse. Did I try too hard? *heaves a heavy sigh

gotta get my arse back to camp already. till then, take care.

Booked out, waiting to Book in.

Took a glance at my weekend. Went to the market with ah ma on early Saturday morning. Have always wanted to go market with her, finally I managed to wake up in time. hahaaha. Was drizzling and the morning was rather cooling. Great. Came back home and then she went pasir panjang wholesale market to get some vegetables. Spent my whole afternoon surfing around and den took a nap.

Met up with the usual SJ peeps for the 10th anni. project at 7pm. This time round we can see the project progressing well. The previous meeting was really "screwed". Well, the initial start is always difficult. I drank teh-tarik and cappucino to keep me awake for the meeting, and to keep my brain working. It was good, and finally we ended at around 11pm. Derrick drove me home...after ken left for home before we enter the KJE expressway. Went home and watched soccer, did some researching on the project plus vendors we might be interested. Thanks to the super-caffeinated drinks, I was wide awake till 3.30am and still considering whether to sleep or not. damn it. lol

Listened to my ipod till 4am before I fell asleep.

This morning I went to the airport again.. as I just did last sunday. Last week was to send my dad off for work. This time round was to meet up with one of my dad's engineers who's here for training. Then as I walked past the chains of fast food restaurants, I realised many inside were students, mugging real hard. omg. okay.. so the airport becomes another place for people to do homework and study.

so bored. anyone wants to go to the zoo? or zouk?

A familiar Friday

Dude. Yet another weekend! Lotsa happened for the week (and the past weeks) and here I am back again at home, lying lazily on my bed with my hands outstretched. Switched on the laptop and watched a movie on this cloudy Friday night. The temperature suggests that the night was going to be rainy but the grey clouds that the moon lit held back the tears. As I stood before the grills of the window, I could instantly feel the wind brushing across my cheeks. I see the road; orange. That’s why the street lamps are there. The road’s empty, with two or three vehicles passing by occasionally. It’s already past eleven. This once familiar scene was when I studied and revised for the exams during school days. Just like the A levels. It feels good to just let the mind wander back to those days where schooling life was simple and straightforward. How is that?

Talking about A levels, I was just chatting with a tutor of mine during college days and then I realized this national exams’ around the corner. And yet another year’s going to pass. Kind of fast, isn’t it? It’s end of October and soon November’s going to be over and poof! Another batch of students who’ve completed their junior college. Same goes to those getting past ‘O’ levels yea.

As the night falls, I guess it’s time for bed. Always good to sleep early isn’t it. Soon I’ll be hugging my pillow and get under the blanket for the night.

More courses, and going.

After the first week in the artillery camp, it's another new chapter of my national service!! Looks like I'm starting from scratch since I've always been trained with the infantry till now. It's kinda different, but very interesting. I'm down to maths and more maths everyday, and perhaps more physics as well. anything to strengthen the brain? lol.

alright, so today's andeous' birthday huh. and also my brother's b'dae. lol. wonder how's that ass doing in the recee stuff. Think he finds it very fun. Good that he's enjoying what he does! lol. Way to go! =)

CPL Loh

Graduated from sispec yesterday! call me CPL Loh now! haha. I got my rank, and I'll never forget the long way I've come thus far to earn it. The days in sispec are really fantastic, my section mates are really great buddies. Whenever I see my CPL rank upon my sleeves, E-PL2S4 comes along in my mind.

The days we had fun talking cock in bunk and not sleeping at night, the day when we had our first night's out, the day when we started to know each other better, the days when we complained so much, the days we ran together, the days where we marched, the days we took our exercises and fieldcamps in stride, not forgetting the days when we became really united when the Merz took us for SBD. People call us the champion section, but we don't mind. And I pretty like that term coined for us. hahaaa. We know we are united as one, you'd rather try to produce a scratch on a diamond than try to break our section integrity. It's fate that brought us together, in the last section, sitting near the staircase on the 3rd storey. we love that room, we love section 4, we are not called champion section for nth. x)

***
I still remembered on the 24 aug, the friday when we were booking out. It was the last bookout before graduation on the following week. Although we get to go home, I didn't like it at all. For all I know was by the time I book in 2 days later, it'd be the last book-in we'd see each other. As we pack most of our stuff into the duffle bag to bring home, I really hated that feeling that ran inside me. Normally everyone'd be rushing to pack their stuff n rush home happily, but this time round it was definitely different for me. 44th BSLC's closing its chapter...and on the 30th Aug morning at 5am, we knew which path we'd walk.... and then from there onwards, I wish them all the very best in their vocations.
***

I believed we truly feel blessed to be brought together. Remember the last SOC we did and we really pushed each other on and ran together. It felt like hell, and as you all always say upon standing at the start line "the next 10 minutes' gonna be our worst of life". It was really outstanding, we pushed ourselves beyond our freaking limits and everyone clocked timings btw 9.17-9.45min! nurudin's timing's 9.45min, the coolest, cause his previous timing is a ass-spanking 11min!! hurray for section 4. we all passed SOC. haa.

Oh yes, on tuesday night we shifted our beds to the middle room! Had to clear section 4 for new beds which apparently we shifted back our beds n cabinets the following morning. -.- We raped some dudes that night and did I mentioned they were stripped naked? lol. It was really disturbing to see...erm. balls? yeah, hell no. I swear I'll never be the one to pull down anyone's underwear! okay..back to what I was saying. my bed was shifted to sect3, leaving SDR, seeyang n wee hoe's beds in sect4. The rest went to the middle room. We all hate to sleep in where we had to sleep so we shifted our mattresses over to the middle room and laid them on the floor! Slept together for the last night. Talk cock till past 12midnight. Andeous shook me and wished me happy birthday. lol. I think wee hoe tried to shake me too, but he shook the wrong part of my body. :X lalala.

Alright, for the PTIs to be - derek and sederick, really all the best. you both got what you always wanted. Good for both of you! For the mud, I've got nth to say. what we said on the first day in bunk really came true. Too bad. lol. For the arti specs-to-be, I can't forecast what the future holds. mm. For the signaller, I know u super happy. last but not least, andeous! I'll never forget you, the one who really gave me a bad impression during BMT sit-test and now you rocks. These dudes rocks, the rest can smell my socks.

Sispec warriors! E-PL2S4 WE'll March On!!!

Drops of tranquility

Rain rain rain! It's been raining alot these days.. the weather's good. Cooling as it is, what a peaceful sunday afternoon. Especially after a week's hard training, and hours before booking in camp, it is really nice n cosy to just relax at the corner of the bed, hugging your favourite cotton-filled pillow, reading a book and listening to soft soothing music. What a way to spend the afternoon, but it wouldn't be long before the sound of rain drops engulf the room...

*****

9 more days to my graduation parade. Less than a week to my 28km graduation road march. My BSLC course's coming to an end. Just when we've made great buddies in camp, in the next blink of an eye, everyone's going to walk different paths. Where will we be posted to? OCS crossover? ASLC? Guards? Signals? Arty? Armour? It doesn't really matter.. what's important to me is to learn and excel in what I do and to enjoy every bit of training. Things we'll never get to experience in life, now I've 2 years for it. They become memories; that will last me a lifetime.

And that's why, every night, I write down my training experience, my feelings and opinions in my diary. Every single moment isn't to be missed or to be forgotten. I write my own story and I'll keep it till the day when I'll let my children read it.

------

This might sound cliche but I do think far!! hahaa. (= ... this is how army transform people.. hmm.

Change

Let's talk about yesterday. hahaa.

Went SJ in the morning, thought aisuan, xinyan and yan hsiang will be there. So I went down see see. Reached at 8am and then later realised yan hsiang didn't turn up. hmm.

As I stood upon the cement railings outside SJ room and watched the kids train (footdrill), I imagined if I wasn't around that morning. Only aisuan and xinyan will be there. Once in a while, certain degree of unhappiness will be set upon. The air is still, the atmosphere seemed so different. Can anyone revive those days? Days passed by and things really changed, so rapidly that I didn't managed to catch a breather. I missed the days where SJ trainings are noisy, every second filled with excitement, joy and gutso. When will it be when mah, ong, ken, me, aisuan and derrick meet again in SJ? nobody knows. We lead our own lives, we walked many unfamiliar paths, surrendering to the hands of destiny.

But the days gone are never to be forgotten, they're to be cherished.

I begin to think of what the future holds; for everyone.

...

PIZZZZZZZZZA

Booked out last evening and went JP to have PIZZZZZA with 3 of my section dudes, formally all from cougar coy in BMT. lol..

Ordered 2 pizzas, including the new cheesy pizza, with a chunk of cheesy dip in the centre. Not too bad, very tasty. hahaha. yum yum. That chunk of cheesy dip is REAL CHEESY; LOTS n LOTS of cheese! oh my. *drools.

kk, we wiped out the food very quickly and chatted as we sat on the cushioned benches.

We parted as soon as we left pizza hut. Took 172 home after that.

***
Coming up next week: Grandslam tekong! back to tekong for final field camp in BSLC course... let's hope for cooling weather! no rain pls!!

adios.

Life goes on..

This morning I woke up, feeling really shagged from the field camp which ended last night. Reached home at 11.30pm..with half my eyes closed. Checked my email for a while and K.O at 12 midnight.

Checked my HP and it was 8.07am. The morning was pristine. But the noisy engines from buses and bikes wrecked it. Sat on my bed and thought to myself; hmm, it has been a month since i entered SISPEC. Haven't cut my hair since then, it's getting long! Next I questioned myself what am I supposed to do today. Feel like going out, perhaps to town to get some clothes or books, but couldn't find any company. *shrugs

I thought I'd better get some rest, cause I'm booking in tomorrow(sunday) morning! darn, super precious weekends. Watched bleach and some manga and then surfs around the net.

*

The clock in my laptop reads 8.27pm now. Gotta pack my stuff for tomorrow morning. Yet another week comes along... things will come and things will go... life goes on...

******

(:

Which would you choose?

One take-away from training last week would be to ask yourself this question..

"Would you marry the woman you love, or love the woman you marry?"

Which would you choose? Which is more important, to you?

Many a time, we don't get to do what we want/like to do. But life doesn't stop here. More importantly, is to love what you're doing. Love what you're doing, and that's when you learn to enjoy and appreciate life.

army days ahead.

I dedicate this post to shen yang, or rather Ong; like what we always call him. yupp

All the best for ur enlistment on friday!! yea man. Tough trainings are there for you to look back and know what you've achieved at the end of the day!

Look forward to meeting up again!

~KSJ'07 - HUAT.

KSJ Passing out parade '07

Yesterday was the passing out parade for KSJ!! Mr Kong came, Lee PS us. Goh did it too, the day before. darn. lol

Everything went superbly well.. Remembered ms Ratna kept showing the *thumbs up when mr Kong left the parade square. haha! =)) good thing is I FINALLY RECITE THE FRIGGIN PLEDGE CORRECTLY. I only tried to memorise it the night before. But then again, do you think anyone knows if I've recited it correctly? aw. screw the pledge. doesn't make much sense at all.

Congrats to the graduates, you all have really done KSJ proud. I guess you all know it yourselves; in your heart, the hardwork all of you have put in and the satisfaction gained. ; ) that feeling is beyond words.

Next is the games organised by the BNCOs.! Running around the whole school finding clues was indeed fun, but tiring as well. haha. Then the last game came. Carrot said something like "Okay, due to time constraint, we'll now play the last game - water bomb. Anyhow throw.!" I was like, what the hell! Then, of course, me and ong dashed straight up the hallway, and armed ourselves with some ammo!! They had like 1000 water bombs!!! holy.

This is nuts. We always never fail to play water bombing, and then end up filling pails and pails of water and pouring it over unattentive heads!! hahaa.

Finally we ended at around 3.30 I guessed. and went up the SJ room. I looked out towards the empty parade square and wonder when will be the next time I'll have the chance to come back to KSJ again. The POP's over, games played, prizes given. What's left behind are memories that will last a lifetime. I'm sure I share the same sentiments as other trainers like ong, ken...etc. We enjoy coming back to KSS to train, as well as to have fun. Certainly, KSS's where I grew up, where I learnt many lessons and I'll always be proud to say I was once a Kranjian. Not to forget, KSJ, my biggest committement in Kranji, is something that can never be forgotten.

Time passes so fast. I was just viewing some pictures in my pc, and saw a pic of me and Mah with christine, szehim, beatrice and weiting during some zone dinner at CDANS club. They were only CPLs then... now SSGT is what they wear on their shoulders. Then I think about it, I graduated from KSS 3 years ago, and also completed my A lvls. Now that I'm army, time really flies. I hate to say this, but one day, we'll have to leave KSJ. Be it for further education in university or for personal committements.. I HEART KSJ.

Alright, time to go off. I wishes everyone the very best and GOOD LUCK for 'N', 'O' and 'A' levels conquerers!! not forgetting Ong and Ken becoming army boys soon!!

Posting

Posted to SISPEC.

PTI here I come!

dudes beware! : )

Basic Military Training Status: Completed!

Here are some pics taken on 13 June 2007. My BMT passing out parade!

Here comes Cougar Coy!

Cougar coy lead by MWO Raymond Tan!

Dad putting on the jockey cap..

:)

Presenting to you...

POP!!!!!!!! WOO HOOOO!

A random pic with my dad before leaving for ferry terminal..

A pic with my OC!! wow cool. haha.

Goodbye.. Pulau Tekong. Thanks for the great experience, and things I gain in the days ahead.

An hour before the passing out parade begins, a sergeant major; Guardsmen, told us, "A soldier will never ask for reasonable time, because there will never be any."

命运

在某年某月某日。。。

。。。真的是命运吗?

:))

He who laughs, LASTS.

*****

Just some random thoughts that I blogged it down. Hmm. I've lotsa random ideas though, gotten em all in army. It's kinda good in a way that I do realised many things which I once took it for granted. yup.

This is life.

*****

A person without a sense of humor is like a car... without shock absorbers.

Endure! n move on!

sigh. Don't really feel good these few weeks.

Rushed down to kss to check out st john training after I booked out yesterday afternoon at about 1.45pm. Heard that training's till after 4pm. haha. great. Feels good to be back in school. And of course, seeing fellow buddies in SJ, and not forgetting relieving the joy of watching juniors training hard. Best moments I've ever enjoyed.

But those moments will not last. Nothing lasts forever. Time passes so fast that before I realised, it was already 7.45pm after we'd dinner together. Heard everyone talking about 'Kiat's Facts' by mr brown..lol.

Went over to zhen's house to watch FA cup final...boring match. Ate about 4 packets of potato chips plus many biscuits. Feel asleep at some intervals...was too tired. Left at about 12.35am, missed the last LRT. Then got lost in bukit panjang before I caught a cab home. So tired that I couldn't think straight and navigate my way around.

Reached my ah ma house and slept straight away. Haven slept on this bed for ages already. The bed I've been sleeping on for the past 7-8 years? Feels good. But I didn't give it too much thought, fell asleep as soon as I grabbed my pillow and blanket.

Woke up this morning at 8.40am, brushed my teeth n fell asleep again. Woke up at 11.30am. Feeling the fatigue from the intense training, and of course the field camp which was ....... :) The first thing that came to my mind is that I've to book in tonight... and the cycle repeats itself again. yet another week.

Last week I nearly cried in camp. Didn't like it at all. missed my ah ma very much.

Feeling very down as I jotted all these down.

But we guys don't have a choice, do we? That explains the title of this post.

******

Checked my email this morning. Got acceptance from University of Queensland for Bachelor of Medical and Veterinary Surgery... Veterinary Science faculty!! Damn shocked. Have to accept the acceptance by october 2007... they only take in 32 international students per year. But I'll wait for Uni of Murdoch to reply. Hope they accept me!

******

I am searching...not for anything else but searching for joy. It's really torturing not to find joy since then. I seemed to lost the smile I had, the laughter that would accompany the smile.

This ain't easy at all. It ain't fun.

I want to stay home with my ah ma. I want to go out have a game of soccer with my buddies like zhen and nash. I want to sleep on my own bed. I want to eat home cooked food everyday. I want to be able to catch up with my friends. I want to have a weekend that I don't have to think about booking in on sunday evening.

But hell no. These previliges are taken away.

"When the going gets tough, you'll only get tougher." How tough have I gotten? Can I get any more tougher? I'm beginning to doubt. Where is the limit, or is the sky my limit?

I'll end my post here. Need to get some rest. Next 2 weeks is another hell for me. It's really a constant struggle emotionally and mentally.

All the best friends...cherish what you've now. especially your loved ones... trust me.